Welcome to My Breakup Hell

Picture this….

I was laying at the door step of my front door. Hurt, unable to breathe, exhausted. Physically and emotionally at the end… I just didn’t have the strength to go on. My breakup was one of the lowest points of my life. That dull, unbearable pain in my chest. Deep sadness, loneliness, and depression…

Drowning In Sorrow

I had no energy left to continue. No drive, no desire to go on, you know? I couldn’t breathe. My work was impacted. My health. And my sanity. I felt nothing but massive, awful, persistent pain.  She left and ripped a huge hole in my life. I missed her. I missed her terribly and my thoughts kept drifting back to her… My mind kept playing painful movies of my ex. Happy with her new boyfriend. Enjoying their relationship. Making love. Laughing. Completely over me – over us!

It was like a knife in my heart.

“Why is this happening to me? What have I done wrong?”

After years of marriage, a divorce, and several relationships this one felt different. We met at a dinner party. We chatted, laughed, flirted. I liked her from the beginning. Everything felt right. We went from friends to lovers quickly. We did all the fun things couples in love do. We cooked together, we went to the beach, rode a motorcycle to the Big Bear Lake, had fun dinners… And made love often. It was sweet, sensual, passionate and beautiful.

Our romance was quickly turning into a deep relationship. After a long time I had a sense of stability, permanency and love in my life. I could imagine spending the rest of my life with this girl. We both were happy. Or so I thought….

The Breakup

We were really happy at the beginning, you know. I nice relationship. But then….

Small signs at first that something was off. Her laughter began to fade. Then her eyes lost their usual fun spark. Her touch didn’t feel the same. It was as if a dark cloud was hanging over her soul. I was reaching out but her hand was slipping from mine. I was losing her. My questions unanswered. Or just a brief “No, don’t want to talk. Everything is fine. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Then one day we finally sat down. I had to know. All the changes, the distance that was growing between us… This was not the girl I fell in love with.

“I don’t love you. I’m really sorry. I’m leaving.” she finally admitted with tears in her eyes. My heart stopped for a second. The reality of her words slowly crushing it. Big void. Then pain. And next day she was gone. Her closet empty. A circle of dust where her little wooden vase used to be. And silence throughout the house. 

A sense of emptiness and sadness filled up the hours, days and weeks that followed. I felt lonely and lost. Angry that I so depended on her. That I was so deeply connected to her and I just didn’t have the strength to let go. I was disappointed in her and in myself. How could I be this weak?

Honestly, I felt like a total loser.

Heavy thoughts kept racing through my head. I should have been there for her. She was still not completely over her last breakup. Maybe I rushed things too much. I should have done that… I should have said that…. Guilt and regret.

They said you will get over her. Family, friends – they all were trying to help. They said time will heal all wounds. They said it wasn’t meant to be.

I was trying to help myself so I read books on breakup and heartbreak and — like you — I kept searching on the web for advice and tips.

I started to understand what was happening with me and why. I followed some of the advice. I started a regular exercise program to burn off all that penned-up energy (that really helped!). I socialized with my friends to lift the sense of loneliness and isolation. I avoided all contact with my ex (this was NOT easy). I was even trying to date here and there, with disastrous results, as you can imagine.

Stuck

Time went by and I became functioning. I manged to go about my daily business. But I was still unhappy. I was caught in an endless emotional loop and I couldn’t figure a way out. I WAS STUCK. What the hell was wrong with me?

The scar on my heart was supposed to be healed by know. Maybe visible, fine. But not this painful. Not for this long. I had been through difficult breakups before, even a divorce (yes, there was a pattern but I didn’t see it yet).

I was worried that I was going slightly crazy. Sleeping — or NOT sleeping was the worst. It took an hour just to fall asleep, and I often woke up at four in the morning with thoughts racing back to my ex. My heart pounding. I just lied in bed, full of tense anxiety and worries, unable to sleep. It was exhausting.

All those painful feelings I was struggling with:

• Guilt
• Hurt and betrayal
• Jealousy
• Anger
• Regrets and endless doubts
• Nagging fears
• Anxiety
• Disappointment
• Constant Worries….

 

I finally realized that rationalizations, books, logical explanations, good advice — even therapy or time WERE NOT helping me to move on. On contrary, the more I was digging into all that mud, to more I felt as if I was sliding back into the dark hole of depression and despair again. I was exhausted and at the end. Which turned out to be my SALVATION…

Sleep First

I was constantly exhausted and needed at least five hours of good, restful sleep. I did try prescription pills ( and wine) but I was waking up feeling tired and groggy. It was not working. And I hated the idea of being hooked on drugs or alcohol.

During this time I was hired to produce a brand-new version of my Mind Matrix PLUS system on high confidence, focus and self-esteem (yeah, I know, the irony) for the entertainment industry. Film stars, models and Hollywood actors have been using it and getting some great results.

So like a doctor who had become his own patient, using the new Mind Matrix PLUS technology I put together a custom sleep track for myself. I was asleep in less than ten minutes the first night I used it. Next night – same thing. Six good, restful hours of deep sleep. I felt better and stronger immediately. Gray clouds in my brain began to dissolve. I started to see and think more clearly. The dark heaviness of each day was slowly lifting. All because I was getting more rest.

Get Over Your Ex

I tried several of those “5 Steps to Heal Your Heart” and “Get Over Your Ex” programs. But they all dealt only with the surface stuff like get more exercise, think positive, don’t think of your ex….

My pain of the failed relationship was like a sharp splinter, permanently stuck in my heart. And to remove it, I had to dig deeper. Past the conscious mind, past my brain and logic. To heal and move on, I needed something more powerful than just positive thinking, visualizations, affirmations, meditations, or therapy.  I was fed up feeling so weak. It was time to get rid of the pain from its core. Once and for all! Because otherwise I would just re-create the same pattern in my next relationship. Different face, different name – but same experience all over again.

I could spend months or even years trying to connect all the dots and make sense of it all, I could keep sifting and analyzing, spending countless hours (and thousands of dollars) in therapy, writing affirmations, force myself into positive thinking (I watched The Secret dozen times). I could keep asking myself why would I create this experience… Understand myself and my childhood better… I could keep pushing myself into happy visualizations and meditations…

I could stay stuck with my endless FEARS and DOUBTS eating my alive (I’m telling you, I was a MESS):

• I can’t find another one
• I’m too old
• I’m not good-looking enough
• I will have to settle or compromise
• I will get hurt again
• I don’t deserve love
• Dating sucks
• There is no soul mate
• I will not find this kind of love ever again
• I’m not good enough
• What if I end up being alone?

Or I could just FINALLY LET GO AND MOVE ON. I would NOT let the heartache beat me and ruin my life.

Every night before I went to sleep, I put on a pair of headphones, relaxed, and let the special sounds and soft music heal my heart, my mind, and my soul.

After about five days there was a sense of lightness inside my chest – for the first time in WEEKS. You can imagine –  it was as if the sun came out after long rains. I felt happier, more balanced, LIGHTER. I was breathing more deeply, even smiling. The special audio went straight to the core of the subconscious where my pain was. I designed a new programming track to remove all the negative emotions, painful memories, guilt, anger, disappointment and hurt.

I know… I know… It sounds like an infomercial, right? But you see, I was elated that I finally felt better!

The heavy doom and gloom that used to always sit on my shoulders was replaced by RELIEF.

Hope

For the first time, I felt hope. A real sense that the worst was behind me and there is somewhere ahead (even if I couldn’t see it yet) a light at the end of this tunnel. With my sanity restored I was on solid ground again and ready to take the next step. I built another Mind Matrix PLUS programming to clean up all the beliefs I was dragging behind like an giant old rusty anchor. Over the next couple of weeks I did some much-needed spring cleaning of my soul and my battered heart.

I didn’t even know it at the time, but I was getting ready to open up again and connect with my future soul mate on deep, CORE level. Yes, there is a happy ending to this story….

Things were getting better and better every day. I was going out,  not to find THE ONE — at least not yet — just to have fun, hang out with old friends, and to meet new ones. I spent time with my family (my mom has been such a sweet supportive trooper throughout this ordeal). My work became more meaningful and rewarding. I was exercising almost every day and felt (and looked) great. I felt grounded and back in my power. I was whole and not NEEDING a partner to complete me and make me happy. I enjoyed life again and my days were filled with positive energy and optimism.

My thoughts were positive. My mood was upbeat. My body looked better because  I managed to lose a few pounds — and believe me, I needed it

I had plenty of energy. Food tasted better again, wine was sweeter, the air was crisp, the laughter was liberating and abundant and — for the first time in weeks — I felt optimistic about my future.

I was finally ready to re-discover real love and find my true soul mate.

First there was a soft nudge. I felt a gentle pull towards love. So I put together a Vision Board with all my dreams, goals and desires — you’ve seen one, right? A board with affirmations and pictures of my future relationship.

I kept asking: “Who and What do I want in my new relationship?”

Who did I want to attract? What kind of experiences did I want to share? What mattered the most?

Here are some of the things I put on my list:

 

• Great friendship
• Passion
• Plenty of laughter
• Total connection
• Romance
• Fun
• Travel
• Respect
• Complete honesty
• Great intimacy
• Passionate sex
• … and most of all — LOVE. Deep, beautiful love.

 

Soul Mate

This was the final part of my journey — and the beginning of something new and beautiful. After all that mess I went through I finally felt ready. And the Universe was sending me signals that it was time to invite my soul mate into my life.

Nothing was happening at first. But I was patient, knowing that sooner or later it would all work out just fine. The Universe has endless resources at its disposal. Hey, we’re talking the same forces that have created galaxies and all of us! So I was sure one soul mate out of seven billion people on this planet would be a piece of cake ( and it was).

Then it happened…

We met at my friend’s birthday party. She was different. Smart, interesting, cute, sexy, articulate, fun — and funny. Full of charming, playful wit. She smiled with a hint of mischief in her eyes.

We talked on the phone a few days after the party for over an hour. Pleasant, interesting conversation that kept flowing without any awkward pauses or cliches. It felt as if we had known each other for ages.

It felt different from any other previous relationship I’ve ever been in.

We talked almost every day.

There was no rush. No pressure. No agendas. We realized (with a mild surprise) how MUCH we had in common: we liked similar books, enjoyed similar films, even music. We liked similar TV shows, liked to travel to the same spots. And our differences made it all even more interesting. I am now a big fan of the band Train

Over the weeks, our interest turned into close friendship. And then, a close friendship grew into LOVE. Passionate, intimate, beautiful, honest, powerful and very real love. I’ve never felt like this. EVER. Because this time, I was free of pain, worries and fear. I left all the hurt and baggage of my past behind. I entered the relationship with a clear mind and a clean, healthy, opened heart. Ready to send and receive love. It all felt right.

We’re together. We’re in love. Very much in love. And our relationship is strong, healthy, loving and tons of fun. It is everything I’ve always wanted. And more. A lot more.

It’s getting better, stronger, and deeper with time. More fun and more interesting. More passion, more intimacy, more discoveries about each other. And more joy together. We’re bonded by a powerful sense of permanency. “This Is It” has become our daily motto.

And our journey continues…. How about YOU?

YOU

It’s your turn. There are no accidents – you and I didn’t meet by chance. You’re here because you want to change. You’re ready to let go of all those painful feelings.

You want to breathe again. Smile again.

Live. Laugh. Enjoy life. And LOVE AGAIN.

Love with all your heart. Love and feel loved like you’ve never felt before, right? With no compromising. No settling for less than perfect (even if that feels like an impossible dream right now).

You’re craving — deep in your core – an awesome relationship. Lasting, passionate and loving union. A bond based on complete trust and honesty. You may have doubts that it even exists. And yet… You’ve been searching until you’ve found this site.

I would like to be your guide on your journey if you accept my invitation.

I’ll show you every single step I took. Every useful tool I used, everything that has gotten me to where I am today. I will show you and teach you everything you need to stop the torture, let go of the pain, and heal your heart. I’ll guide you to your ideal partner — your soul mate of your dreams.

The perfect ONE who gets you, understands you, respects you, LOVES you for who you are… The ONE who is looking for YOU right now.

Soon YOU will be whole again, healthy again, happy again.

And it doesn’t take years or even months. You can be well along the way in a few weeks. Looking back at these dark times with a sense of relief. It will soon feel only like distant memory or a bad dream…

I will share with you every tool, every technique, every step I took to get over the pain of heartbreak or a divorce. You WILL get your life back and enjoy living again. You will find deep, meaningful relationship with your perfect soul mate.

It doesn’t matter if you’re 25… 45… or 65. It doesn’t matter if your relationship ended a week ago or a year ago. You will feel better. You will live again, laugh again, and LOVE again, that’s my promise to you. I will show you how….

Thank you for reading my story.

 

Borino
The Author of the DOMINO SYSTEM

PS: Sorry for not posting any pictures of my soulmate. She likes to remain private (at least for now

Oh, and please, PLEASE drop me a note. I would love to hear from you!