Dr. Phil’s Advice on Healing a Broken Heart

“It’s over. Now what?” You may be afraid that that feeling of emptiness and loss after a breakup or a divorce will NEVER go away. The emotions of a breakup or a divorce are like NO OTHER experience.

Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil McGraw has galvanized millions of people to "get real" about their own behavior and create more positive lives.

Famous  relationship expert Dr. Phil offers this advice:

There’s no question that breakups can be painful, and that it’s difficult to trust and love again. But there are ways to get past the pain. Here is some of Dr. Phil’s advice for healing the heartbreak.

In time, it is absolutely vital to put the pain behind you and move forward with your life and love. Otherwise, you are giving away your power to the people who hurt you.

  • Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a breakup is about you, not your ex.
  • Don’t start thinking about being friends right away — if ever. You have to be your own friend first.
  • Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and each little step is part of your healing.
  • Define your real intentions. Are you trying to move past the breakup, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You won’t move on until you’ve accepted that the relationship is over.
  • Be careful about the language you use. When you use catastrophic terms like “nightmare,” “terrible,” and “horrible,” you’re bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Focus on what you can do.
  • Sometimes you can’t get over being hurt until you know you’ve been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger and sadness.
  • Don’t embarrass yourself or put yourself in a situation where you’ll look back and feel humiliated. Driving past your ex’s house, making dozens of phone calls or e-mailing non-stop is no way to let go of the past or come out with your head high.
  • Learn to trust again. Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there’s a risk. Don’t let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest. You can go through life suspicious, or loving and laughing.

Read the original story here.

I can tell you from my personal experience that just being able to express all the emotions of a breakup such as sadness, loneliness, anger and sorrow has made a huge difference in my healing process. Find a trusted friend, share openly EVERYTHING you’re feeling and you will feel instant relief.

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  1. judy  April 26, 2012

    I am trying to get over a break up, which I initiated, which lasted 20 years!! This person lived 50 miles away. The first 3 years, I went up there every week end, as he had a dairy farm and couldnt get away. Then he asked me to marry him. I sold my house, my cottage and bought a place on a lake 2 miles from the farm. We lived together for 14 years. The last 5 years, we ran a tavern together (on the property that I purchased) He went ahead and started this business without asking me for any input. I went along with it and helped get the barroom ready. I found that I hated the bar business and finally sold it after 3 years. I was always on the bottom of his priority list. The bar business, his property by farm, his kids, making a great impression with customers came first. Because of this, we fought very often. When we finally sold the place in Oct, 2009, I moved back to town where I came from. I wanted the relationship to be over. He pursued me for 6 months. Said he missed me, couldnt stand to be alone, and came down to see me every week end. After 6 months, he started building another bar on his property by the farm. After that he didnt have time for me anymore. After a while, I started going up there again, repeating the same schedule from 20 years prior. I begged him to go on a short trip for my birthday, asked him to come and spend time in my town sometimes. Refused anything that would make me happy. Finally, about 6 weeks ago, I broke it off. He called about 5 or 6 times. I told him 3 weeks ago to never call again. And he hasnt! This has been very hard for me. Have been reading books on breakups, trying to keep busy and start my life over. It is a little better, but still hard. I know i CANT go back. 20 years is a long time. I am now 76 years old.!!! By the way, after I moved up there, he backed out of the marriage!!

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    • TRACIE  September 15, 2013

      I AM SO SORRY OF YOUR LOSS…………… I WENT THRU A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE. YOU ARE STRONG, I FEEL THAT ABOUT YOU I KNOW IT WAS APR OF 2012, HOW ARE YOU DOING NOW ?

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