Grateful For Breakup

Yes, I know that sounds a little crazy. Why would you be grateful for a break up? For all the pain, sadness, anger and sorrow… All those lonely, depressing nights, haunting thoughts, and all that stress!

I got my first taste of the breakup pill when I was twelve. She was two years older; cute, smart, and sassy. We were “going steady” for a few weeks, acting all grown up. I sent her a hand-written “I like U” note. “I like U2″, she wrote back. That’s how our little romance started.

Break up is painful no matter what age.

I kissed her on the lips twice, we talked on the phone every few days, and we held hands when no one was around. When I was with her it felt like floating on a white cotton-candy cloud. Puppy love they call it, right?

And then my twelve-year old heart got broken for the first time by Ms. Sassy. Not much of an explanation or a reason, really, just “it’s over”. Oh, the pain! And the embarrassment when I had to tell my friends.

This was the first of several breakups I have had over the years. The funny thing is, break ups are NEVER easy: first love, high-school sweethearts, 15-year relationship, or a divorce after 30 years — it ALWAYS hurts like hell. And here is the kicker, it doesn’t matter too much whether you’re on the dumper or the dumpee side. It still HURTS, no matter who pulls the trigger.

And it does not get easier with time (or age). Puppy love or long-term relationship, it’s just as difficult when the relationship is over.

But there are three reasons I’m grateful for each and every breakup I’ve been through.

First, there are always, always nice memories I will keep forever. Even relationships that had lasted only a few weeks had some fun, sweet, and loving moments worth remembering. Yes, it’s sad it had to end, but it was always worth it.

Also, each relationship made me better in some way: more open, more honest, more aware. Each of the women I’ve been with has taught me something about love, about this world and about myself. Just like each break up made me stronger, more aware and confident I would make it through tough times.

And finally, each one of those so-called “failures” was just a stepping stone, another step on this amazing journey I had to take to finally meet the ONE.

Yes, heartbreak is one of the most difficult, painful experiences we go through. But I am convinced that I would not be with my soulmate today if it wasn’t for the heartbreak from Ms. Sassy and the rest of the beautiful souls I have met on this journey.

Easy? No, not even close. But necessary because it has made me who I am today. And it makes me appreciate the relationship I know have.

So thank you, Ms. Sassy, wherever you are.